ohai

 wow, i'm getting slack again. but it's cool, i was on spring break in panama city florida. hahaha, that shit was the best time of my life no doubt.  hm,  not much else to say but i'm almost done with softballl yahooooooooooooooo and idk what else. but...bbl =)

this has been the worst week of my life. my best friend left, my other friend died. the funeral is tomorrow, and it is going to be so, so hard. seeing kc crying is going to upset me the worst ever. it seems really hard to get through these things. i hope everything will be ok. i wish brett were here.

I guess I haven't been smoking enough weed, because this week has been shitty. Well, I guess good but shitty at the same time. I just really hate softball practice, and I really don't feel like there's enough time in my day to just chill and relax. Oh well, there's no big worries, just all the little things adding up. I'm just ready to fill out my paperwork and finally be making some dough. I feel like that'll make me happier.

On the good side, I've been doing a lot of forgiving. That's stress relieved, even though it was easier to deal with things if I just didn't think about them. It's crazy how avoiding a situation is so successful. But now I've been thinking a lot, but idk what to think. LOL  i'm crazy. naw, i'm just ready for the weekend and for the summer because this school shit is stressing me out way too much.

 shit man, today wasn't fantasic. we got pwned at our softball game, and i got pwned by dan.  not really, i'm just lame.  lol. oh well, i'm just sad about a lot of stuff all of a sudden. probably only because it's the week. i'm super ready for the weekend.

last night was loads of fun! i like that boy >.<

 um, duh i would pay for the deductible. i'm pretty responsible, as in, i own up to what i do. but this was a funny question =)

but yeah, i would definately pay the deductible. who else would?
and wouldn't i get arrested or some shit if i didn't?
lol
lol
lol

"Never leave the one you love for the one you like, because the one you like will leave you for the one they love."

I sure wish I heard that a long time ago.  Although I don't really regret breaking up with that little bitch of a boy johno, I really did love him.  It was a love/hate relationship really. LOL. I guess I'm better off now without him, I just wish I would have broken up with him on different terms.  Because the boy i like left me for the one he wanted to bang, and now John is happy with a girlfriend. I really am happy for him though, and I'm glad that I'm fully single now.  I'm ready to meet new people instead of just going with my younger life crushes. LOL. It's just shitty now because I don't even have any crushes, which is really odd for me, but I suppose I'm getting used to it. I really am looking foward to college, and getting out of Rock Hill. This place makes people go crazy  >_<

What's The Point

What's the point of laughing,
if you're only going to cry?
What's the point of moving on,
if you're only going to die?

Does it matter who I talk to now?
Would it matter what I say?
What's the point of being hopeful,
When I know you will not stay.

I miss you like the wilted flower,
misses the shining sun,
when it slips behind the clouds,
and the day is done.

I wish I could apologize,
but there's always my worst fear,
maybe you won't forgive me,
or pretend not to hear.

The thing is... I'm not sorry,
for hanging with my friends,
you broke my heart, you let me down,
and to my broken heart they'll tend.

-Shelby Borders

 

"Life is short; forgive quicky, love truly, and laugh uncontrollably."

Just some new words for me to live by. =D

I regret getting involved with my guy friends. Things always get fucked up, and then I lose another friend. I'm not going to fall for a true guy friend again, because people always get hurt. Man, fuck it.  I will not let myself fall for anyone until college, or I'm ready to settle down.  All this drama is so unlike me, lol.  It's too difficult.  So fuck the bullshit, I SHALL BE INDEPENDENT! And try not to lose any more friends.

fuck this >_<

well this week was super shitty. like, pretty horrible man. but this weekend has been much better! already. lol. and there's stil 2 days left! woot. so i'm going to a monster truck show today. woohoo! lol. well. that's prety much it. =D

who ever decided that people should be monogamous?
because they're dumb
not all people are.
some are not happy with just one person man
it sucks that we're raised in our society to believe that you should be with one person always
it sucks i had to subscribe to that bullshit and that we're all brainwashed to think it.
 it sucks i have to get jealous so easy
 it sucks how we were raised to believe that physical affection even related to love
it's dumb how sex is called love making
it's just sex
you don't actyally make love from it
thats some bullshit
it just sucks how dumb people are, that they're so conceited they think one person would only want to be with only them forever!
love is dumb


the world would be so much better without love! there would be no sadness. :)

 I love the weekends! LOL life is cool these days. friends are great, and weekends are fun! =D

<333

 I LOVE MY BEST FRIEND KC, lol
we have a bond like no other~

And today was cool, I almost forgot how much I missed her. But anyway, school tmorow. LAME-O. I'm not excite in the least. But other that that... things are good. I'm good and content.  I think that weekend in Clemson was MUCH needed.   My mom and I havent even fought since I got back! I'm ready for som definate changes though, in my room and shit.  I changes some stuff yesterday, but I'm ready to have a huge place to chill in, and a differnt place to sleep in.. and a real DOOR! That's very exciting.  Anyway, I'm out... up to some mischief. lol. i love it <3

it been a HOT MINUTE  since i was on here last. so what has happened over the last year.....
-John and I have broken up.... no regrets
-I'm exploring college possibilities; Clemson the winner so far
-Got a wonderful puppy: Daisy
-Increased my love for The Beatles
-Learning how to play the guitar, kinda
-Looking to major in Psychology in college and eventually become a lawyer

And, best of all, i'm looking foward to reaching self-actualization. I"m pretty sure I can do it, in about 40 - 80 years. It'll be no time at all. =D

i am content. i wish john were here tho. 


my armpit itches :(

i get so emotional when emma goes back to school.
i know she'll be homein just a few weeks,
but it's really sad.

oh well. i shall see her soon.
i love john so much.
life is grand, but would be grander with emma here.

i wish rock hill had more to do.
life here is stagnent, hollow, and pointless
with the same thing to do every day,
this town is getting to me.  i can't take it too much longer.
i am going crazy.  save me, please,

ugh, I AM FREEZING.

anyway.. never having anything to do is really starting to get to me.
i wish it were'nt so fucking reezing outside,
not to mention 10 feet under water.

on the other hand, i really love bright eyes.
they're so awesome.

okay, well. i'll see the world later.
right now i just want to curl up in a little ball.
and get warm. and listen to bright eyes.
perhaps go to sleep. maybe we can take a boat on the lake outside.
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

donnie darko picks me up when i am down